thats when ii love you .
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Friday, July 15, 2005
Feeling quite troubled this few days! dunnoe if my decision is right or wrong?tried to die before but it didn't help! i taken lots and lots of panadol but it doesn't helpmy father thought i commit suicide is because i have broken up with someone..he was wrongi did it because i was just too troubled with things...dunnoe what to do! feel so lost now...hoping someone could help me!haiz..dun understand why troubles are always looking for me?must i suffer so much?must i torture myself so much?well well forget it.dun wish to say.the doctor have been asking me to operate on my heart. but they dun understand mei know the chance of success is very low. i dun wish to risk my life in it! i wan to live longermy cousin and me have heart problems! so we know what we wan.so no operations plswe both dun wan to risk our life it this operation. so no matter what..stop asking usyou doctor reali pissed us off okay!i believe no one would wan to die inside there...we both reali dun wish to follow in our grandmother footsteps.she trust you allbut what happen?you doctor fail to save her from the operation room.. wth!though we know its concern the heart too but you all say you were confidenthow can you all like this??? thats so evil le bah!haiz..not going to trust you all anymoreHmm... but maybe if i die, i would be able to see my grandmother.that will be niceall of the cousins dreamt about her but why not me?i hate myself for thati reali hope that i will be able to dream about you!cause i miss you too much le.i know you dote on me the most but pls grant my wish bah! i wan to tok to you and see youi truly got alot of things to say to you lor!things between we cousins and lots moreafter you left, all of us have been drifted apart!we no longer united anymore..kai li and kathy went worse.i was inside of course. but rachael and aaron is following usi dun wish that they follow in our footsteps.. i wan to help but i dunnoe how??well.. forget it bah! looks like i have to think everything by myself!but i still hope to see you
2:10 PM
