Tuesday, February 28, 2006

todae damm sad for miie lahx..haix
quarrel with baby over her thing
haiz..i'm sorry baby!reali reali sorry
i just dun wanna make things big
blame miie if you wan..haix
i know you are still angry with miie
but ii reali dun wanna say who.sorry
ii hope euu can understand how i feel
its not easy being miie alright..haix
have euu ever wonder how i felt?
do you even consider my feelings at all?
haix..i got nothing to say lle.haizx
i cry but no use oso.euu wontt know
euu will nv know the pain and tears
sorry baby!i'm reali reali sorry.
haix..blame miie if euu wan bahx
i got nothing to say le..haix.sorry
all i can say is a word sorry

10:24 PM

Sunday, February 26, 2006

todae was like damm sianx lahx..haix
went piano lesson den went parkway
went there to make a new sim card
okay finally i got back my sim card le
but but but i got to use the same phone
which i hate it alot can..whatever ya
quite pissed off lahx..fuck sia
i must wait till nexy year den can get phone
i am like not going to wait lahx..fuck
i wanna a phone right now can.oh well
nvm.recently i just bought a phone
just waiting for it to arrive only.so ya
ahhhhh!!!ii feel so fucking bored right now
i dunnoe where my baby have gone
she dun seem to reply my msg lahx
haix.maybe she sleeping liao bahx..
i dunnoe if i can trust her again.
i dunnoe whether we can last
there is alot of question in my mind now
i'm reali confuse and stuff..haix
i think i am going to break down soon
well i dunnoe oso lahx.haix haix
feeling so stress right now.
anyway tml having maths paper
i never even study at all lahx..like wtf
hmm...i think tml den blog bahx

baby i just wan to tell you
i'm so in love with you

10:53 PM

Friday, February 24, 2006

todae was like damm shit lahx..haix
steph nv come school todae can..
lucky got tricia and bahiah with miie
if not ii think ii will just die lahx.haix
todae was damm boring in school
i seriously hate school okay..it sux
during maths class ii cut my hand
den the blood drip.and guess what
those ppl around miie got no tissue
so bahiah have to go toilet help miie take
she was damm nice okay..so cool
hahax..after recess it suck okay
okay whatever shall not say too much
after school went bukit merah
went with tricia cliques lor..went mac
den on the way reaching le,
i saw ah dai can..oh god.he dye his hair
ii very long nv see him liao can..
anywy after went mac to eat lor.
den after steph came we went great world
haix..something bad happen again..
den after i go exit cut my hand lahx..
and there was no tissue for miie lor
so i have to walk to toilet to take lahx
now my hand look horrible k..hahax
cause now my cut all at wrist there.hahax
i dun find it pain lahx..i feel nothing
maybe i'm reali numb le bahx..haix
den after saw ting ting and liqi...oh fuck
got into some trouble with them..
cause ting was looking at us den
show huiting attitude...dunnoe how say
anyway just went to tok to her lahx..ya
steph went to kick the dustbin can.
she so damm the cool lahx..oh god
i feel so odd there can..hahx.oh god
cause i was the only 1 wearing uniform
well nvm..reach home at 10.30
didn't bother to call my mother too..
ii miss my baby so much lahx..haix
i reali got nothing to day anymore le..haix
i just feel lke breaking down right now.

11:02 PM

Thursday, February 23, 2006

haix..todae totally so damm bored lahx.haix
after school went tiong with steph..
went there to eat.den after saw alot of people
saw weisuan there.hahax her mother too
den saw bobo,yanling,alex,andrew and etc
cannot remember too.cause too many liao
hahax.den after went mac there to slack
saw yushan den sit with her..hahax.so funny
we down theree keep joking and stuff
den after liling came say hi from outside
hahax..got a shock lahx...like omg can
den after saw ting ting too..as in the outram 1
den they 2 came in and join us slack together
liling from ytd till todae haven finish her ss lahx.
feel like beating her up can..oh gosh.hahax
i'm feeling so sianz right now lahx..haix
liling and me was bitching about ____.
hahax..shall not reveal out the name lahx.hahx
liling was like saying she is ugly and stuff
yushan was like saying she very slut.hahax
oh gosh i did not know so many ppl dislike her
okok enough of bitching that person lahx
haix.anyway baby and me got problem again
baby tonight giving me her answer..haix
i know we will nv be back together anymore
nvm.i think i should reali let her go lahx.
i'm reali too selfish to hold her back
though it hurts..but i know i have to.
maybe baby would be happier bahx
i'm willing to do anything just to make baby happy
if letting her go she will be happy,
i 'm willing to let go.i know it will be painful
but as long as baby is happy i'm fine
i dun mind if baby hurt me or what
i just wanna see her happy.haix..
but i know i will miss baby like hell
nvm nvm..i hope baby can find happiness
i reali dun wanna hear any answer from her
cause i know she will insist we stay tis way
haix.nvm.i shall pretend i nv say anything lor
treat it as nothing have happen before.haix
wo de xin zhen de shou shang le..haix
baby ii promisee ii will let go..haix

7:49 PM

Monday, February 20, 2006

todae i am so so de sianx lahx..haix
stay in school till 4 plus lahx.wtf can
mrs chu ask me stay to do english
is like i dun reali like can.whatever
den call me do so many things.fuck sia
anyway i just feel so sianz right now
actually suppose to go tiong de
but steph and weisuan cannot wait
so they went off and go home[i suppose]
den i took a cab home lor..haix
what a boring life i have now lahx
because of that stupid probation.
since so boring.i shall blog what happen ytd
after piano went out with weisuan lahx
as usual we went great world lor..yup
den went they play arcade and stuff lor
den after weisuan frenz came and meet us
den went kfc slack again.after went arcade
after playing for a while,we went home lor
den when walking out,i saw ronald lahx
ask him where is bertram they all
cause is like he is alone.so weird lahx
den after bought kfc home for my parents
they say its the leftover den i give them de
like wtf can.i nv even eat at all lor..fuck
anyway tok to steph online lahx.hahax
is like finally have the courage to tok to her
want to tok to joan too..but but but
i dunnoe how open my mouth lahx..haix
cause i hope everythign can like before
where we 1 whole big cliques together
den tok and laugh lahx.haix.nvm
i hope its not possible de..so nvm lor
anyway ytd i cut my hand again for baby
and total i cut about 100 plus le.haix
ytd i cut my wrist area again..haix
den blood just keep dripping down my hand
no matter how i stop the blood,it nv stop
just keep flowing lahx.haix.well forget it
i know i should not think too much lahx
cause maybe baby reali dun love her le
but i still got the feeling baby still like her
haix..i reali dunnoe now.so confuse now lahx
can anyone teach me what to do.haix
i'm reali tired of thinking and crying le

5:59 PM

Saturday, February 18, 2006

went to acjc funfair todae.kind of boring lahx
cause i am not those funfair type lahx.so ya
went there with weisuan lahx..hahx
reach there le den meet daryl to take ticket..
ok den walk around and slack lahx.so sianx
den i went to draw my hand.it looks horrible
hahax..cause the butterfly look destroyed
den after went back to find daryl..hahax
after he say his prize was not enough lahx
so i had to travel just to help him buy
den when coming back that time,
i and weisuan feel so malu okay!hahax
cause we were carrying 3 plastic bags
and yes.plastic bags lahx..so malu can.
den after daryl comment on my butterfly
he just say why is it so destroyed..
den say i got tatoo very big ar..is like wtf
i nv even say i was big lahx..whatever sia
is like hao xin mei hao bao okay.
help him buy prize den he comment me.
okay!anyway he say i look liike ah lian lahx
which i totally disagree okay..okay whatever
den after went to meet gerald soo lahx
oh gosh.his stall was kind of failure lahx.
cause very little ppl play!maybe no one is playing
cause his stall was at the back..ya
den after saw daryl,larry and keith..
so went over to call them.so funny lahx
i almost cannot recongise larry can.
cause he totally change lahx.like 1 ah beng
somemore dye his hair red.so jealous can
den after daryl ask us to walk with him
so we follow them around lor..hmm...
we wanted to go haunted hse de.but i scare
hahax..so in the end we gave up on going
plus it was quite long queue..so ya
saw alot of stc girls too..hahax...
left there at around 5 plus.cause of weisuan
she wanted to go home.so i went home too
couldn't get a cab from outside lahx
and plus it was drizzling lahx.i'm so wet lahx
den after call my father fretch us home..

baby i know you wil nv be mine again.
i know what happen is already the past
but i will not let go.cause i love you baby
ii promiisee ii will wait

11:15 PM

Friday, February 17, 2006

todae was like so borign for me lahx.haix
after school went home straight lahx..
suppose to meet someone at tiong de..
but cannot contact tht person..haix
so i went home lor.was quite angry
so kind of quarrel with that someone lahx
but anyway we both okay liao.
because she dun wanna quarrel with me.
haix..life isn't good for me right now
so many things is happening lahx..haix
it seem like everyone is cutting their hand
steph phua,joan,ting,stephanie and me cut
is like all of us is cutting.i dunnoe why too
but steph and weisuan say mine is the deepest.
i mean deepest among all lahx..haix
i seriuosly dun think so lor.i dunno too
but can say i cut through my flesh..ya
many saw my flesh split open and got blood in it
now i look at my hand i feel digusted lahx.
cause can see the flesh split open...haix
den somemore can see like a hole there.ya
not trying to tell ppl how er xin lahx.ya
but its the fact lor.haix.ppl thinks i'm mad
cause i cut like 75 cuts lahx.haix.
and the 75 cuts is ppl count de lahx..
when they told me i got a shock can
cause i dunnoe i cut so many time lahx.
and mostly i cut back the same wound
as in haven recover yet i go cut again.ya
joan cut alot of line i guess.i dunnoe too
steph cut too.think 20 something line
steph phua i dunnoe oso.should be alot bahx.
anywy i'm missing my baby right now lahx
i wonder when she will stop hurting me
cause my heart cantt take it anymore
i'm like goin to breakdown soon lahx
will anyone teach me what to do.haix
cause i'm reali lost.i'm reali reali very lost
i need my baby with me.but does she know
i cut because of her.does she know??
does she know how much she have hurt me?
my heart and whole body is totally numb now
i can no longer feel pain anymore..haix
is like i just cut my hand and when i scratch my hand
i dun even any pain at all lahx..is like omg can
i dun feel any pain can.am i reali feeling numb?

[when will i be happy again??]
[when will i feel pain again??]
[when will i b happy again??]

11:28 PM

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

this is all i can show how much it hurts to love you

todae damm sianx lahx..went home at 4 plus
omg probation totally sucks okay..like wtf lahx
i latest have to reach home is at 5 lahx.like wth
anyway later going great world..have to go lahx
cause i need pass present and question didi too
heard something and wasn't reali happy about it
if its reali true den i shall disown her bahx.ya ya
i know i'm abit bad.but no choice lor.haix..
yupyup. todae in school quite sianx lahx..
keep seeing li ling lahx..den she keep smiling to me
she saw the cut on my hand lahx..hahax so funny
she went like'ouch..its so painful lahx'hahax
she is so cute lahx.but quite lame too lahx.hahax
anyway after scchool went tiong to eat..
went to buy my books first lahx.so lame can
den wanted to go kopitiam to eat de..
but in the end we went long john to eat lahx..
cause we saw ronald.manting and shirley there
steph didn't wwant see them so we went long john
anyway after there saw our classmates.hahax
it was like so funny can..okok whatever lahx
den went up to more den words..saw tricia
saw stephanie upstairs too..but nv say hi lahx
anyway todae was such a boring day lahx
alright i think its getting boring soon le..ya
oh ya anyway weisuan and me on cold war
because of some things lahx..its kind of lame lahx
so shall not say wht happen okay.hehex..ya ya
anyway ytd did not meet up with baby at all.haix
was kind of feeling disappointed in her laahx..
but its okay de.i will learn to accept it.yup
cause i know its going to be over soon..
cause i have no confident in myself anymore le
i'm tired of cutting myself too le..haix
i know ppl care for me..and i just hurt them like this
i know i hurt my father the most lahx
cause when he saw my cut,his face was like sad
he look abit disappointed in me too..haix..
jiabao saw my hand too.alot saw lahx..haix
my didi saw too.she was like saying she so heartpain
baby cut her hand because of me too..haix
mrs chu say she saw my hand oso heartpain.
but is like whatever lahx..hahax so lame can
baby nv cut as much as me.she cut abit only
i seriuosly dun wan her cut her hand lahx..haix
cause it breaks my heart too..haix
i cut my hand its because of her lahx..
but i seriusly dun wan her cut because of me..haix
[baby i can nv show how much i love you]
[but i can show how much it hurts me to love you]
[i'm nothing but just a broken heart girl]

5:48 PM

Monday, February 13, 2006

just came back from harbour front..hehex
got into some conflicts there again.haix
but the salesperson reali damm fucked type
anyway bought alot of things lahx.hahax
bought pooh,biscuit,chocolate and marshmallow
den carry so many plastic bag.hahax
i look like some auntie okay.i admit lahx
den bus together with steph.hahax
she is like so lame lahx..bought only for danping
den totally forget abt wan tian.haix.hopeless
but in the end i gave her my biscuit.hahax
so at least now she got something to give
this year not giving alot of people
cause i am broke lahx...sad case can.haix
lalala..i am so bored right now..haix
i keep sneezing can.like what the hell lahx
since like afternoon till now lahx..
den like having flu like that.which is not
omg i seriously dunnoe wht happen lahx
dunnoe if i allergic to anything anot
haix...anyway baby and me haven okay yet
she refuse to call me or pick up my call
but nvm lahx..let her cool down first lor..
tomorrow valentine day le.so fast can
tml going out with weisuaan watch movie
cause she say she wanna spend with me
hmm....we are not lesbian lahx..hahax
just that we wanted to spend it together.ya
so ppl dun think too much ya..hahax.ya
about baby..i dunnoe her lahx..haix
guess maybe got ppl date her out bahx
i oso dunnoe too.well forget it lahx..
i leave it up to fate le bahx..haix
i oso dun wanna think too much too..
cause it will make me cry more and more sad
den end up can cause me to cut my hand
i seriuosly dun wanna cut anymore le..
cause i already cut more den enough le.
is like everyday i have been cutting lor.haix
nvm nvm..i leave everything up to fate

8:37 PM

Sunday, February 12, 2006

just came back home from great world
got into some trouble there.haix
not me of course.but its weisuan.haix
i wonder what will happen sia.
anyway hope nothign will happen
weisuan left early because of her mum
so left me and steph there..went kfc to eat
great world todae got alot of ppl lahx
saw clarice,bertram,manting,ronald,alex,shirley etc
todae at kfc totally sucks okay.wtf
i saw some gross ppl acting cute lahx.oh god
it was like so fucking er xin can.fuck lahx
anyway andrew and alex damm shit can
go mess up my hair..fuck sia..especially alex
keep messing up my hair lahx..fuck lahx
andrew is the most idiot de lahx..damm sway
saw him at bugis den saw him at great world too
like wth can.so dao mei lahx..haix..
anyway i am missing my baby now.
i'm sorry i show you attitude todae.so sorry
but seriously i was angrybecause u neglect me
i guess tonight you will not call me le.
maybe we will be on cold war i oso dunnoe.
i just hope you know how i feel right now
i dun feel nice when we have cold war.
cause my heart hurts so much..haix
i'm reali tired of cutting my hand le.
i'm oso tired of crying le..haix.
can i just breakdown.haix i dunnoe too

11:34 PM

Saturday, February 11, 2006

ytd went to zion road to eat.
den saw joan and her family.
after went to esplanade there
but i nv follow my mother.
ii went tiong to meet weisuan
den my father went to pub
eveyone went their own ways.hahax
den after saw mr ng at tiong
me and weisuan get shock lahx
cause i 10 plus went tiong
den he was outside breadtalk.
so me and weisuan went arcade
but it was like so damm boring
no one was inside lahx.so sianx
den after head down to great worlld
while walking out,we keep looking around
we thought mr ng have left liao lahx.
but who knows suddenly his head pop up
me and weisuan got shock lahx.hahax
den we keep on laughing lahx.so funny can
den after went great world there..
went arcade there to slack.was sianx lahx
den after went kim seng there.
while walking saw ting and this guy.
did not bother to say anything too.
cause its like wasting my saliva.
den after went to buy food at kim seng
wanted to play pool but weisuan wans to leave
cause she scare her mother would scold.
so we left.wanted to wait for bus de
but in the end we took cab home lahx.
so fucking idiot can.there was no cab
so we went taxi stannd there to take.
who knows no cab too.so sway lahx
so we walk our way to zouk there
cause there was hell lots of taxi there
as alot of ppl went clubbing mahx..
rreach home around 12 bahx..
den went to slack in my room lor.
sms my baby lahx.glad she reply
and i know something i dun wanna know
and that is she still love her
all she said to me was just a lie.haix
i reali hope i dunnoe anything at all
cause it reali hurts my heart like hell
i reali dun wanna leave in darkness anymore
cause i have enough of everything.
maybe we were not meant to be.
no matter how hard i try,theres still a hole
a hold in between us.haix.so just forget it
maybe its time to let you go.i'm sorry
i seriuosly dun bear to let you go at all.
maybe i shall mke my decision tonight bahx
maybe i should give you a chance to explain
haix.forget it lahx.i dun wanna say le

[my heart hurts when you lie to me]
[but it hurts me more if you dun love me]
[so pls say you love me baby]

3:06 PM

Thursday, February 09, 2006

i seriously hate school right now lahx.
everyday getting into trouble.so shit
this morning my father went school again
guess my father second time go school le
speak to miss phee,mrs chu and madam leong
it was like so shit okay.school sux
my father never scold me of course.
but in fact he was kind of helping me.so cool
all teachers thought my father wil scold me
but they were wrong.i was not scolded
mrs chu went to say i smoke.whatever lahx
but at least my father know and he allow
but only to a certain extent lahx..hahax
but he knowws i will never ever touch drugs.
mrs chu ask my mother to check my body
to see if i got any tatoo or anything.like wtf
lucky my father help me again.hehex
seriously i was like damm lucky lahx..
i wanted to make tatoo ytd.but in the end nv
cause i got to rush home.so damm lucky
i show my father black face lahx..damm shit
mrs chu wanted me to say who i hang out with
and their name and what school.fuck sia
and i kept quiet lahx.i did not wan to say
den i show my father black face.he knows i'm angry
but anyway later in the end i say the name out
they promise me not to find them de.so its okay
if they reali find,i swear i will create trouble for the school
so damm shit lahx.haix..so damm stupid
and i was like keep telling my father the school is bias
they keep picking on ppl like me lahx.wtf can
i oso nv create any trouble lor.so shit lahx...
i might wan to transfer school.cause i hate stc
this school reali do sucks lahx.i make a wrong choice
if i know i would not have chose this school lahx
anyway enough of saying school things lahx
i am missing my baby right now lahx.haix
todae she nv call me at all.i am sad
ytd my heart feels so pain after toking to her

[Did I lose my love to someone better?
And does she love you like I do?
I do, you know I really really do]

11:03 PM

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

todae damm fucking sway in school lahx.
get suspended from class because i am late
like harlo.i just went toilet only lor.
ok whatever lahx.so went to library.
it was like so boring lahx pls.omg
i cannot even go class lor.like wtf
anyway after school went to see madam leong
ok den i was caught for alot of things lahx
like belt,length of uniform and socks.
ok whatever lahx.todae sucks like fuck okay
i think i transfer school or quite school better
this school reali sucks like hell lahx.idiot
after went tiong to eat.ate steamboat.hehex
so long nv eat liao lahx.it was nice okay
den after head down to great world to slack
den went bus stop,saw jovy ong.like omg can
i use weisuan to hide my face lahx.but haiz
she was damm dao okay.nv even say harlo lahx
ok whatever sia.shall not tok too much abt her too.
saw ronald at great world lahx.hahax
i was there hiding can.but but but....
ronald saw me.he damm idiot okay
he was like dun need hide lahx.i saw you k
u dun need to siam de lahx.whatever sia.hahax
i am damm disappointed right now.baby lie to me
i was feeling sad lahx.i dun feel nice right now
why baby have to treat me like this.i hate it
do i have to cut my hand again beause of her..
i already cut my hand because of something le
and its oso related to her de.haix.
must i reali cut again..i reali dunnoee.haix haix
does baby reali love me??i hope i know the answer
and now i know how much i mean in her heart
i am just so dissapointed and broken hearted.

8:25 PM

Saturday, February 04, 2006

cousins just left my hse not long ago..
todae was quite fun lahx.not bad
gamble abit.but all lose to banker.so shit
the banker won 60-70 cash money.
i am like damm jealous okay.win so much
i think i lose badly todae.so dao mei sia
tml going my auntie hse eat steamboat
yumyum..i love steamboat lahx.hahax..
todae simply just stay at home lahx.
nv even go out.so cannot blog more..
anyway ii do miss my baby right now..
i hope my baby give me a call right now.
i just miss toking to my baby lahx..haix
i just hope everything will end here right now.
i seriously hate to cry le.i'm tired.i'm reali tired
i dun wanna feel jealous anymore.the feeling sux
can we just end it here.i dun wanna continue anymore.
cause the feeling sucks..i hate to tears.
i'm so sorry that i treated you badly.

11:58 PM

Friday, February 03, 2006

just came back not long.haix so siaanx lahx
todae went baby xing hse for dinner..
did not eat at all lahx..me and weisuan left early
because she got tuition and i got probation.
den while walking decided not to go home le.
so went great world after weisuan tuition..
wanted to play arcade but arcade kind of close le
so decided to go play pool.went mac buy food.
saw shirley,manting,ronald and edsel.hahax
den while buying food,clarice and bertram came
was like so many ppl lahx..so surprised to see them
den outside mac was meekee and the rest lahx.
cannot reali remember who.was damm crowded lahx
nearly the whole mac ppl is we know de.hahax
den after when we went to play pool,
saw andrew and his gang there lahx.damm shit can
see him in the afternoon den night oso see him.
ok anyway he down there disturb me lahx.
ask the auntie dun give me table.fuck sia
but in the end i got a table.hahax..was crowded too
den after play for a while,shirley they all come.
shirley damm shit lahx.down there call me dear can
den after they suddenly say what bertram wan jio me
totally crap lahx.okok watever sia.forget it....
after father fretch me..fretch weisuan home too.hehex
den we went to eat.i complain everything to my father
abt some stupid stuff lahx.hahax.ok i know i am lamee
haix.just went school for 2 days and got into trouble
todae got into trouble with weisuan.so sway lahx
okok shall not say much too lahx.hahax....
tml cousin coming my hse.happy happy..
shall blog more tml bahx..hahax..

[now i realise i make a mistake]
[i seriously want you back]
[i was wrong.i make a mistake]
[i reali dun wan be jealous anymore]

12:43 AM

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

harlo everyone.i am like so bored now
pon school todae.so sianz lahx.
if know i would not have pon sia.haix
ytd went to my cousin hse to eat..
theyy hire lion dance too..was quite fun
but the price was more fun sia.hahax
den gamble with my uncle.damm fun
we all won away his money lahx.
i only took out 2 bucks to play
and i have 13 bucks back.hahax
can u imagine we cousin won his money
but it was damm funny lahx.hahax
cause when we play on the bed,he lost
and i mean he lost damm baadly lahx.
den so we play on the floor he start winning
but in the end,he lost to us too.hahax
cause we took out all our weapons sia
example like piggy bank and stuff.hahax
its quite lame lahx.but it reali works lahx
but i think when we went to living room play
he won back quite alot of money lahx.so ya
my mother and uncle all lose money.
saturday they are coming my hse to eat
and all say wan play again.hahax..
i think maybe saturday i going out lahx
i dunnoe oso lahx.shall see first bahx.haix
anyway i miss my baby right now..
i miss toking to my baby lahx.sorbsorb.
tat time ask kathy she and marcus how long le
and she tell me nearly 2 years le.i was shock can
cause the longest she stead was 3 month plus
i am like so jealous can.they can stead so long
anyway i hope that they 2 cn last long.
cause i dun wanna see her sad.i wan her happy
thats what cousins are for.hahax.i am so lame.
ok think shall blog until here lahx.yup

1:55 PM