Friday, December 30, 2005

ytd was like damm fun lahx.went bedok.hehex
saw kor and jie there.saw all my frenz too.
as usual they were at coffee shop there slacking.
hahax.went over to tok to them lahx.fun lahx.
after went to tok to kor!haiz.i broke down lahx.
kor say something to me!shall not say what he say.
after cry finish le went back tok to them.haiz
everyone know i cried lahx.all cheer me up.thanks
after i finish eating liao,we all went arcade there.
i play alot of games with kor and jie lahx.hahax
i simply miss them so much lahx.hahax.
always with them i would be like damm happy
cause they always make me forget all my misery.
i love them like hell can!they rawks my life.
after finish arcade,we went to find shawn,xiao ben etc.
they were at another coffee shop there slacking lahx.
was so happy i saw them okay!i miss them lahx.
den after we had some trouble with another group.
cause they keep starring at us lahx.hahax.
kor was damm funny lahx.go over and aask u see what shit.
den after we all almost fight.but in the end peace.
cause they say sorry to us!hahax.kor so fierce lahx.
wanted to use chair to throw them de.hahaxx..
going out with them is alot of trouble lahx.
but oso quite fun lahx.at least they make me happy.
i love them so much lahx.ling wasn't with us lahx
so not fun without her lahx.i miss her too.
hope can meet up with her 1 day.ya
kor bought me a present can!i was so happy lahx.
shall not reveal what he buy for me.hehex.
after that slack at coffee shop again.damm sianz
but tok alot to them lahx.so not so bad ya!ha
den after i took a mrt home!kor was damm nice
wanted to hail cab for me but i dun wan lahx.
cause i dun wanna waste his money!
took mrt home and kor was there to accomanpy me
hehe.thanks alot kor!you are so damm nice lahx.
during the trip home,tok alot to kor!
abt what i'm feeling now and everything lahx.
he cheer me up as usual!asking me to forget everything
its reali impossible kor!i dun think i can do it.
haiz.maybe shall listen to kor advice lor.haiz
i believe kor will not harm me de right.hahax.ya
ya thanks alot kor.i love you lots lahx.hahax ya
hmm.later going hougang there.so sianz lahx
dunnoe whether will i regret going there anot
okok shall blog more at night or tml lahx.yaya

4:13 PM

Thursday, December 29, 2005

ytd went suntec to meet nu er and her kor.
weisuan accompany me and her frenz came
okok!the whole day i was laughing at her frenz lahx
hmm..cause weisuan say something to me
shall not reveal it out!cause its over right.
nu er and her kor pang seh us!so bad.
well she say she felt extra!maybe i neglect her bahx
i apologise to you and ur kor lor.ya!
oh ya steph kor was reali damm nice lahx.
bought me presents!hahax.thanks alot ya
after we went to watch movie.quite nice lahx
after finish the movie went tiong wit weisuan
den took bus to great world there.
met clarice,weiluan,edsel,bertram,manting.
after a while ah dai came along.
slack outside kfc there.was smoking there
after went arcade to play den went kfc again.
got this 3 guys keep staring at us lahx.
clarice went to find 2 guys to help her lahx.
den they went over to say what they staring.
so me,bertram,manting,edsel went over too.
those 3 guys damm xialan lahx.
ask them say sorry they dun wan say.
and plus all is damm coward lahx.
the 2 other frenz say its not their business
wa they so pang seh their frenz can.
ben gave us a cup of hot water!funny caan.
we wanted to pour hot water on them de.
but in the end we just ask them wan drink anot
hahax.den they keep movin the water here and there
the fat 1 was the most xialan 1 lahx.
alot of people wass looking at us in kfc lahx.
we ask them go out settle but they dun wan.
den plus the fat 1 cal bertram shut up lahx.
i go ask bertram tel him shut up too.
cause he down there tok alot lahx.
den dunnoe which idiot fellow go cal police.
so after we all went seperate ways.
wanted to cal the guy out and whack him
but when we go back kfc,they run away liao
so in the end the matter was not being settle.
but we all say if we see them again we will whack
see 1 time whack 1 time.hahax.they sure die de
they now cannot step bugis there liao.hahax.
okok well well.after went mac there slack.
saw some things i shouldn't have seen.but nvm
if anything were to go wrong,i promise i will slap
i promise i will find trouble with them too.
damm angry now!dunnoe wht she wan too.

1:29 PM

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

ytd was quite sianz lahx.went out with cousins
hmm..anyway ytd we and meiqi okay liao
everything was a misunderstanding.yup
clarice daddy was damm nice lahx.
she totally rawks okay!hahax.i love her
she actually help me tio with meiqi le
but in the end we tok on phone and its okay le
we are still frenzs back!shirley damm idiot
keep asking me to let the matter rest!hahax
den clarice ask me to tio with her.damm funny
both side all say different thing!hahax.
but anyway everything oso settle le!so ya.
later going out wit weisuan to buy thing.
going town den bugis den to gwc.haix
i hate to go gwc cause i dun wan see some ppl
guess daddy will get what i mean by that bahx
anyway i wan to thank daddy lahx.
she damm good!anything oso help me de.
still left few more days and i'm out.
i will be clean by then!others will me go in theirs
but i reject lahx.cause i wanna be good girl
okok next year maybe not going to sstudy
so got to consider everything again.haiz
think quit school is better for me bahx
i mean i seriously dunnoe lahx.maybe i study lo
anyway ppl who wan know my real feeling now
go to http://myfairytales-broken.blogspot.com/.
cause everything i writ there its real
i dun wanna say so much here due to sum thing
ppl who wan go there muz get pwd from me

12:36 PM

Sunday, December 25, 2005

just came home not long.christmas was fun
first went cousin house den went out
was so fucking fun lahx..got alot of presents
hahax..thanks to those that gave me lahx.
apreciate it alot.bought present for daddy
he was like damm happy lahx.hahax.
anyway aalot of ppl wish me merry christmas too
thanks alot ppl.at least u all remember me.hahax
went to meet all my kor and frenz.so fun
we play like some crazy ppl lahx.hahax.
i'm happy that someone msg me lahx.damm happy
hmm..christmas day i broke down lahx.
i cry for a while den after okay liao.thanks to kor
drank alot too.wasn't drunk so not so bad..
anyway alot of ppl say i change lahx.hahax
they say i change into a nice girl lahx..
guess alot of ppl dun agree with them bahx
haha.well nvm!tats what my kor say de lahx
they oso say i become more guai liao..
hehex..i'm happy they say i guai lahx
if not always cal me ah lian!hahax.
anyway i change is because of someone de
not going to say the name lahx.yup!!
just ren a new jie and kor lahx.hehex..
they damm nice to me lahx.hehex..
i simply love my bedok family so much lahx
so many people to dote on me and stuff
when i got trouble all will offer to help me
when i'm sad,you all will be there for me
lending me ur listening ears and shoulder to lean on
i guess only u all now what i'm feeling now
i'm not going to say out lahx.later more trouble.
haiz.anyway that day i'm reali sorry.
i spoil the happy mood by crying in front of you all
but you people were nice lahx.u all make me happy
instead of having fun!especially to korkor.
you were like damm nice!offer me ur hug hug.
its been a long time since u hug me lahx..hahax
saw my enemy and guess what.i say harlo to her
everyone got a shock lahx.hahax.well whatever
i didn't wan to be mean to her on christmas lahx
but she is still my enemy ya.no doubts abt it.
anyway kor found out abt the spam thing on my blog
ling go tel my kor de!haiz.den he come ask me
but i didn't wan say anything!he got no choice too
but just say if next time got thing happen muz tel him
cannot keep anything from him de!hahax.okok
i'm sorry kor!truly sorry lahx.forgive me ya.
anyway this year created alot of trouble lahx.
hope next year will be better ya.i hope so lahx
i hate she* and she*.they truly sucks lahx
i totally hate both of them.i hope they disappear
but i know i got to forgive and forget.haiz
forget it.everything shall be a past for me
now i have seen their true colors liao.
so everything i will put behind me
and start afresh again!i think i can de.

11:59 PM

Saturday, December 24, 2005

just reach home not long lahx.haiz
todae is definetly a long long day.
went to alot of place todae lahx.
first went pasir ris,simei,town and gwc
early morning weisuan ask me out
so went out with her lor..
after went town clarice meet us.
went arcade and it was so funny lahx
the guy that dance so funny!hahax.
laugh like hell!but clarice daddy was not there
anyway after went gwc there..
some things happen lahx..shall not say much
but anyway clarice went to tok to ting
so now everything is settle le!ya
den after slack around there till 12 plus
after huiting didi and ting send me home
thanks for the trip di!love you lots..ya
to steph phua nu er:
hmm...girl i dunnoe if u are angry with me
but i mean since we say her we got to admit
it will be better for both of us lahx..
i mean i more worse than you right..
i admit it in front of her!tats much more worse
but anyway if i dare say i dare admit..
i'm sorry i say ur name in too.but i mean
since we all have already say we got to admit
i dunnoe if u are angry with me lahx..
anyway i'm sorry ya!reali damm sorry
you wan u can blame with lor.i dun mind
seriously i dun mind lahx..yup so sorry.
i seriously hate someone right now..
i feel like killing her lahx.haiz.tats so shit
but i can assure she cannot step in bedok le
if my godbro see her they will whack
so i mean goodluck to her liao lor.
i got nothing to say!she deserve it

1:50 AM

Friday, December 23, 2005

i guess the spamming have stop already
and i'm glad its okay right now..
i'm now praying to god asking him for help
hope my godbro dun come my blog and see
i reali hope he will not come my blog lahx.
if not i think he is going to whack ppl liao
so i pray he wouldn't come my blog..
now ppl in yishun oso know abt my problem le
they all say will protect me and support me.
thanks alot ar!appreciate it alot man.thanks
woodland that area oso got ppl know le..
haiz.i wonder when all this will stop.
i seriously dunnoe how step into bedok le
so many ppl know abt my problem lahx
though all say will help and support me
but i'm just to ashamed to go back now..
i'm sorry kor kor!i cannot go back bedok now
maybe wait till i'm back to the happy me
den i will go bedok face u all bahx.i promise
i know its been a long time since i go back
but i promise if i'm ok already i will go back
i will not break promise de!dun worry okay.
if i go back,i'm sure the happy times will come right
remember last time we always bully tommy de.
whenever i got trouble u all help me settle de
1 whole big group come down and help me.remember
den we always go disturb ppl wan!i miss those days
and got 1 time we nearly get caught by police.
but lucky we run fast fast and hide at peiwei house
i remember how much the whole group dote me
you all cal me xiao mei mei becoz i was the smallest.
i reali miss those happy day with u all..
but after shawn got caught le we nv reali contact le
cause i was busy and u all was busy too...
i dun have time to go down bedok too!haiz...
remember the coffee shop we always hang out at
tat time we fight with ppl there becoz of me.
becoz they kind of like keep looking at me!
and i threw a chicken rice plate on 1 of the guy
after beating u make them apologise to me
den let me kick and beat them!u remember mahx
all of you dote on me!treat me like princess.
i reali miss bedok alot.all my happy memories were there
i remember midnight 2a.m we go bus stop slack
den after cal ppl ask them wake up go pee.i remember
we had so much fun lahx.i miss those days lahx.
i wonder if i can still be the happy me again.haiz
last time always when i'm sad,u lend me ur shoulder to lean on
i remember got 1 time i cry in front of u and u were shock
cause u nv see me cry before!i still remember okay
but u all were niec!all gave me a hug and told me it was okay
u even accompany me home!i remember okay.
you all were so nice!sposor my cab money!thanks ar
i just think i gt to know u all i am damm lucky lahx.

2:53 AM

Thursday, December 22, 2005

todae staying at home to be guaikia again..
cause of some dinner..dunnoe what shit de
my tagboard seem to be interesting lahx.hmm
people start to say abt me le..well i dun mind
i know they are helping ting so its okay..
what i have say or done,i will take responsibilty
so if u ppl wan find trouble den go ahead..
the most get expel from school only what
anyway i dun intent to study anymore too..
so its like okay to me de lahx..so ya...
and for those ppl who are helping ting..
pls open ur eyes widely!I DECIDED TO GIVE UP
i already give my blessing to ting and jovy..
so dun come and tok nonsense in my blog..
i oso have stop contacting jovy le..
ytd she sms me i DID NOT REPLY AT ALL..
clarice daddy can prove it.cause she was with me tat time
i simply just ignore her msg lahx..
so if u ppl come to find trouble becoz of i make ting sad
or becoz of i wait for jovy and not able to let go
den pls open ur fucking eyes to see this entires..
I HAVE ALREADY DECIDE TO LET HER GO
AND I HAVE NO INTENTION OF HURTING TING AT ALL
I CHOSE TO GIVE UP BECOZ I WAN HER TO BE HAPPY
CAN'T U PPL JUST UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M DOING
IF I WANT TO HURT TING,I WOULD WAIT FOR JOVY
FIND WAYS AND MEANS TO BREAK THEM BOTH UP LIAO
BUT DID I DO ALL THOSE?DID I BREAK THEM UP
EVEN IF I'M WAITING FOR JOVY DID I GO TEL HER
I DIDN'T OKAY!I DUN DENY THAT I REGRET LOSING HER
BUT DO U PPL KNOW THE WHOLE STORY??YOU PPL DUNNOE
YOU PPL THOUGHT EVERYTHING WAS MY FAULT
BUT HAVE U PPL KNOW HOW MUCH HURT JOVY GIVEN ME
EXAMPLE IF YOU ARE STILL WITH YOU STEAD,
AND YOUR STEAD TOLD YOU NOT LONG AGO SHE JIO ANOTHER GIRL
AND TOLD OTHERS SHE LOVE THAT GIRL MORE DEN YOU
WOULD YOU CONTINUE THE RELATIONSHIP??
THAT WAS WHAT JOVY DONE TO ME!TAT WASN'T THE FIRST TIME
SHE HAS DONE THIS SO MANY TIMES.U THINK U CAN ACCEPT?
AND SHE CAME BACK TO YOU BECAUSE THAT GIRL REJECTED HER
SO IN HER EYES U ARE JUST A TOY.SHE DUN WAN SHE THROW
WHEN NO ONES WAN HER SHE COME BACK TO YOUR SIDE.
I KNOW I'M NOT PERFECT!BUT DO I DESERVE THIS??
I KNOW I HURT HER ALOT!AND I REGRET WHY I TREAT HER LIKE THIS
BUT THE HURT SHE GIVE ME BACK IS DEFINETLY MORE.
HAS SHE EVER DONE HER PART AS A STEAD TO ME
SHE ALWAYS NEGLECT YOU,SHE DUN SEND U HOME,SHE IGNORE U
SHE ONLY KNOWS HOW TO TALK TO HER FRENZ..
AND SHE NV ASK U OUT FOR A DATE BEFORE.IS THIS CAL STEAD?
SHE ALWAYS SAY SHE WILL BRING U OUT BUT END UP SHE NV
SHE ONLY SPEND TIMES WTH HER FRENZ.SHE NEGLECT YOU
YOU PPL THIINK IS THIS CAL STEAD?CAN U TAKE IT?
MAYBE SOME MIGHT THINK ITS OKAY WHAT.WHAT SO BIG DEAL
WHY WAN BREAK WITH HER DEN IN THE END STILL WAN WAIT AND REGRET
WHY NOT TRY PUTTING YOURSELF IN MY SHOES
AND ALL THOSE THINGS IS ONLY PART OF THE STORY..
I DUN WISH TO SAY MUCH TOO.SO TO THOSE PPL OUT THERE
IF U WANNA FIND TROUBLE WITH ME,I DUN MIND

3:59 PM

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

later going out with weisuan to town bahx
she wan buy christmas present...ya.
she say meet at 2 and i haven bath yet
cause i know we 4 plus den will meet de
hahax..i know her pattern de lahx.
cause she always anyhow set a time de.
so i'm taking my own sweet time.
tis morning i started thinking again.
everything was just a lie.you lie to me
can i hate you now?i feel like hating you
you told me you love me.it was a lie
if you love me,you wouldnt flirt behind my back
you wouldn't have gone with ting already
i reali hate you for everything..
you cause the pain in me!i hate you for life
you change my world into darkness..
you make me cut my hand for you
when the truth is that you nv love me once.
i reali feel like hating you!!i reali do
you destroyed every part of me.you hurt me
you took a knife and stab right through my heart
and you can still tell me you love me.
i guess maybe you're happy to see me like this
you seem like you loves to break my heart.
this time i'm not going to let you hurt it anymore
i promise the wounds u gave will heal soon
i'm going to move on happily without you
i'm not going to let you make me sad anymore
thanks andrew kor for knocking some sense into me
u make me think alot of things.thanks alot kor
you make me see the real her.thanks alot
i'll promise you i will move on happily without her
i promise you will see the happy sherlyn again.
dun worry!i will not disappoint you anymore okay.
i love you andrew korkor!wo ai ni

2:09 PM

just came back from great world.so tired lahx
anyway meet weisuan at around 6 in town..hahax
we 3 took neoprint!clarice claims she was being bullied
crazy daddy that i have lahx...sad for myself.
after me and clarice daddy went great world.
went to find huiting didi.after went arcade to slack
basically whole day is slack aorund lahx.nothing to do
den me and clarice daddy tok alot of rubbish lahx.
waited for huiting didi to finish work!
went to find ting ting den huiting and ting went home
clariice daddy was being nice.waited bus with me.hehex
influence daddy to listen to this song and she like it.
steph kor nu er like it too!hehex...happy lahx.
this song is like damm meaningful..well
i think tats all i got to say le bahx.

12:15 PM

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

its been a second day since i came backk from Kl
and i didn't contact jovy at all!not even once.
haiz.i'm reali confuse right now.i dunnoe what i want
i want to continue waiting for jovy but yet i dun wan
i know ting knows that i am waiting and she is sad.
i reali dun wanna hurt anyone anymore.haiz...
i think if i move on,ting would be happier and not sad
so i'm trying my best to move on and forget jovy.
cause if i dun forget jovy,it would be unfair to ting
because jovy have chose to be with her and not me
so i should give them my blessings and move on
i ever try to move on but i cannot.i reali dunnoe why
everyone say that why i am not sad when i broke up
but have you ppl know how much tears i cried when we broke
have you ppl know how much i hurt recieved.haiz
when we broke up,i cut my hand again...
but no ones know.cause i was wearing jacket all the time
and i keep acting i was ok and i keep hiding my hand.
guess only andrew korkor saw the cut on my hand.
i was scolded badly by him!do you ppl know about it??
now my hand have total of like 100 plus of scars
do youu ppl know??and for ur info the cuts are deep
and all this cuts are for jovy!i cut becoz of her..
everytime i see the scars left on my hand,i start to tears
i start thinking back of all the things and everyting.
haiz..forget it le!i dun wanna say anymore liao
since its over its over..i will walk away.i promise
alex korkor was right.no point holding on.
thanks alex kor and andrew kor!u 2 are the best
always stand by me when i got trouble!thanks alot
i will listen to you 2 de.i promise u 2 i will move on.
i'm sure i would be back the happy sherlyn tat u 2 knew
so dun worry so much abt me le okay!anyway thanks alot
since i have decided to put down everything,
i would not contact her until i have totally forget abt her
i know its going to be tough but i'm not scare
cause i got my 2 good kor with me and all frenzs..so thanks ppl
i hope i can say a last i love you to you.
but i guess i wouldn't have the chance anymore.haiz
well nvm!i will give my blessing to you and her...

11:32 PM

Monday, December 19, 2005

i came back from malaysia le!it was okay lahx.
bad thing is tat i'm sick lahx!haiz..
not nice to be sick lahx!cannot go out.well nvm
anyway when malaysia was quite okay lahx
daddy and mummy bought alot of things for me
daddy bought the most de!thanks alot daddy
mummy was jealous of me becoz she bought nothign
and my father only buy things for me and not her
hahax!my bro gets nothign too!well well..
came back to singapore,on my stupid phone
and saw so many msg and missed call lahx..
but i did not reali reply lahx.i bath and slp
cause i was like damm sick lahx.cannot take it le
malaysia arcade is damm fucking big lahx..
i went inside to play saw alot of lian and beng
my father say i look like those lian too..hahax
play some games with cousin!had fun lahx.
malaysia food is nice too!enjoy it alot..
but i eat until like damm sianz of the food le.
everyday we go restaurant and eat!damm sianz
hope can go eat those coffee shop food.
i heard its nice lahx.nxt time i wanna try sia
chirstmas is coming le!haven buy present yet
alot of ppl think i will buy from malayisa
but they were wrong!i buying from singapore
cause i still thinks singapore things is better lahx
malaysia things isn't that nice too!hahax.
they have alot of weird shop name lahx
which singapore nv see before de!
and somee of the things not so nice lahx.hahax
my cousins and i bought alot of things..
we were like damm happy lahx.hahax!
mostly is shoe aand bag kind lahx...
shirt we nv buy alot cause some not reali nice.
i bought belt for clarice daddy and someone
but dunnoe if they will like lahx.hahax
came back didn't contact jovy at all...
i hope it will help me foget her abit bahx...
ting read my blog again!she knows i'm waiting
i dun deny i'm still waiting!but dun worry
i'm going to forget her de!so no worries..ya
i think tats all i got to say le bahx.ya

*_[now i realise you're no longer mine
but i'm hoping that the pain will ease in time
although you're leaving,i won't say goodbye
because i know you're here with me inside]_*

2:50 PM

Thursday, December 15, 2005

hmm...tml going malaysia le!i dun wan go
but no choice..i have to go!sobsob sia...
i'm going to miss everything here..
i'm going to miss all my frenzs lahx...
haiz..so sad sia!ytd i cry to slp again
i wonder when i'm going to stop the tears
everynight i cry myself to slp.haiz
i dunnoe why i muz torture myself like this
i just hope i can forget you and move on
i'm just tired of crying le.i'm reali tired
i'm not tired of waiting for you but
i'm tired of crying!cause in the end,
i get nothing but just disappointment.haiz
forget it..i dun wanna say anymore le.
todae went to bugis to shop...quite okay lahx
weisuan suppose to meet me de lahx
in the end 5 plus den meet me!wth lor.
lucky steph was like with me!thanks alot girl
shop shop shop till i went broke lahx..
hahax.actually not reali broke lahx.still got money
when walking out,saw clarice they all
but didn't follow them lahx.i went to shop first
after clarice meet me at arcade there..hmm....
well shall not say much too!after bugis,
went to great world to slack!saw andrew lahx
he make my hair again!idiot fellow...
after bertram,man ting and ah dai came
play with bertram a while!chase after him lahx
ma lu myself in arcade!well well nvm..hahax
todae damm guai kia can!guess what
i reach home at 11!!!guai kia can..hahax
after help father to carry things up!hmm...
shall not blog much too!cum back from malaysia den blog
anyway ppl do take care of yourself alright
will miss you ppl lots..yup!

1:15 AM

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

i hate evrything right now!everythnnig is wrong
i dunnoe wht i wan in life right now.haiz
i'm trying to avoid you right now..
maybe shuold say i dun wan contact u anymore
i'm trying to be mean towards you now.
cause i dun wanna anymore trouble
now everything seem to be my fault.haiz
i reali dunnoe!i'm dying inside.i need help
who would be there for me?i wonder
i hope i can forget you completely and move on!
i'm sorry for evreything.i'm sorry

1:24 PM

Bye ppl!i'm leaving for malaysia soon.
do take care ppl!will miss you all lots..

5:22 AM

change my blog song and i think it rawks
the lyrics is quite meaning to me.
shall put the lyrics here

Don't speak, seal your lips,
Please don't say a word
Maybe I won't remember the words
I have not heard I see that you're in love,
I know it's not with me
But I don't want the truth to haunt my memory

It's never too late to relight the fire
It never stopped burning for me
The flame, it never died inside of me

How is it now that I can tell you I love you
How is it only now that it's too late
What can I do, the love we had is torn in two
So you take the smiles from all of our years
And I'll take the tears

I sit and reminisce, of times that we once shared
You gave me more than love
But never thought I cared
My feelings were all for you
Although it didn't show
I only told you on the day you let me go

It's never too late to relight the fire
It never stopped burning for me
The flame, it never died inside of me

How is it now that I can tell you I love you
How is it only now that it's too late
What can I do, the love we had is torn in two
So you take the smiles from all of our years
And I'll take the tears

Now I realise that you're no longer mine
But I'm hoping that the pain will ease in time
Although you're leaving, I won't say goodbye
Because I know you're here with me inside

How is it now that I can tell you I love you
How is it only now that it's too late
What can I do, the love we had is torn in two
So you take the smiles from all of our years
And I'll take the tears

2:39 AM

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

i wrote your name in the sky
but the wind blew it away
i wrote your name in the sand
but the waves wash it away
i wrote your name in my heart
and it stays forever..
i'm still holding on to you
i just couldn't let go of you
reason is because i still love you
i told myself i could let you go
and live my life without you
but i realise i couldn't...i need you
i need you in my life.i reali do
but i know you will nv return
cause u have gone with someone else
i try to give my blessing to youand her
but in the end nothing works at all
i'm still thinking about you.
i wanted to put down the past and move on
but something is holding me back!
haiz..i reali dunnoe if i should wait for you
if i wait,i thiink i'm going to make ppl hate me
cause ppl might think i'm trying to break them up
den in thee end the bad person is me le..
i hate myself now.everyday i blame myself
i blame myself for letting you go
i blame myself for not treasuring you
i'm sorry!ii know i have hurt you alot
and you were right to give me up and chose her
but i'm sorry!i just couldn't forget you
i'm sorry that i still love you!i'm sorry
every night i pray tat we could be together agan
but it seem nothing works at all...
but instead of coming back,you drift further away
drift so far tat i couldn't reach for you anymore
maybe its time to let go of you.
i reali dunnoe.i'm confuse right now
i'll think i am going to wait for you still
although u dun love me anymore,
but i'll still wait!cause i still love you
give me abit more time.maybe i will give up
mayb i will just forget everything and move on
i wondr how long it will take for me to recover
and to forget you completely!haix..i reali dunnoe
but as long as i still love you,i will wait
no matter how long it will takes,i'll wait
i'll wait for you to return back to my side.
i know its impossible!but i will still try.

2:47 PM

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Todae went concert with rachael todae..
the concert was like damm boring lahx..
rachael agree with me too lahx..hahax
nearly slp inside the concert hall lahxx.
hmm.went home to change den go out
went great world again lahx.sianz*
i did not know i was like so big shot
bertram didi,man ting,huiting,clarice,ah dai
they were all waiting for me lahx..
hahax.reach there and went mac to eat
hehex.we make like alot of noise lahx
we were throwing things here and there
poor rachael was in between of us.haiz
plus she nv join in the fight,she oso kanna
hahax.well feel sad for her lahx.hahax
she eat damm little and slow lahx..
tats why clarice daddy and huiting say.
they oso say she like wan to cry like tat
jovy join us after we eat finish...
hahax.after eating,went to arcade.
we catch alot of thing lahx.was so happy!!
after clarice daddy and jovy left us,
only me,rachael and hui ting left there
we play till we nearly broke can!muahaha*
hui ting was nice okay!sponsor us arcade
hmm.thanks didi ar!jie loves you lots...
after finish,we went to find clarice and jovy at kfc
den after hui ting left us le!haiz...
so me,rachael,clarice daddy and jovy went temple
saw alex,fei long and other ppl lahx
but we went playground find man ting and bertram
hmm...ah dai was so damm funny can
act gay infront of us and make us laugh
by doing those gaylish catwalk and acting cute
hahax.we all laugh like hell lahx..so damm funny
anyway after we went back home liao...
well i hope everything can be put behind me now
i dun wanna think of the past anymore
i'm still trying my best to forget you and move on
i know its impossible but i'm still trying
i dun wanna hurt anyone anymore.i'm guilty
i have already hurt like hell lots of ppl...
example like huiting kanna beaten becoz of me
clarice and bertram fight becoz of me
shirley and clarice unhappy of each other oso me
haiz..i'm totally guilty now lahx.i'm reali guilty
i hope i can just put down everything and move on
cause i think i will be much more happier den now.
now i'm like feeling sad and hurt!i reali do feel it now.
i reali hate to move on without you...
but i know i got no choice!i have to do that!
To andrew:
hmm....kor pls dun find trouble anymore le
i know you are unhappy with her..but pls
i dun wanna stir things up!reali i dun wan
so pls forget abt everything okay?
To ah ben:
hmm..i know u wanna whack her lahx
but like i say!forgive and forget
so pls dun think of whacking her anymore k
i reali wan this thing to end lahx..
ya i reali hope u will forgive and forget...
To alex:
kor thanks for everything.<3
you totally rawks my life lahx
you cheer me up when i'm sad
you were always there when i need u
thanks alot kor!i love you.
To kathy:
hey girl thanks alot of everything
when i needed sumone to tok too
you were always there lahx.thanks
thanks for giving me advice too.
To rachael:
thanks for everything okay!
you totally rawks my life lahx.
thanks alot girl!!<3<3

*_[i guess its time to bid goodbye
i will move on without you here]_**

12:59 PM

Saturday, December 10, 2005

CLARICE DADDY AR!WHERE U MAN??
AAHHHHHHH!!!!!!I HATE CLARICE DADDY
hahax.anyway was just joking anyway
going for mac interview later lahx.scary
clarice daddy suppose to go with me de lahx
and what happen!i cal her she dun wan pick up
muz be slping like a pig man!hahax.but well
i got no choice but to go alone lor.sobsob*
at first clarice daddy pick up de sumore so awake
den say she wan wake up at 9 lahx
cause i cal her 8.30!so until 9 i cal her
she dun wan pick up lahx.i was so angry!ahhh!
anyway nvm lahx..understand she dun wan work
she is like pei me work together cause i ask her
hahax.so nvm lahx.i shall work alone lor...
shall blog more at night

9:57 AM

Friday, December 09, 2005

hmm....todae damm guai can!hahax..
later going out with cousin and parents
suppose to dye hair todae!but but but
i'm not free!sorry clarice daddy
anyway going to dye maybe tml..
ytd tok to jovy and we both have fun
we 2 keep laughing all the way lahx..
hahax.den she told me something.
if 2 person like each other,
they dun have to be together
cause if they were to be together
they will hurt each other and
there will never ever be love there.
maybe i agree what she say bahx
indeed getting together do hurts
especially when the other party hurt u
haiz.....but i still hope you come back
cause i reali need you!i reali do
without you i am like living in darkness
i just couldn't put down the memories
everything still stays in my heart..
i'm sorry i cannot let go of you
but i promise i will 1 day..
i will not hold on anymore!
i will give my blessing to you and her
i'm so sorry for my selfish act!i'm sorry
now 3 of us are not happy!i'm sorry
but dun worry.i will walk away
so you and her woud be happy together
cause you 2 love each other
and i'm the 1 that cause everything
i am the 1 tat cause us unhappy
i'm sorry!i'm truly sorry....
1 day i will put down everything and move on
i will not hold those memories anymore
i will be brave and move on without you

*_[wo heng xiang wen ni yi jiu hua
ni dao di you mei you ai guo wo]_*

2:59 PM

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

just finish toking to jovy on the phone!well
maybe later going great world find shirley
i not sure yet!see my mood bahx...haiz.
i'm still not feeling okay now!cause of ytd?
well i dunnoe too!i just felt so sorry to ting
i know i was in the wrong to say abt you
but i wasn't the 1 tat ask my god bro to tag
i reali didn't know he will go tag!but well nvm
all can push the blame on me!i dun mind..
since i already lost 1 of my favourite kor le
i dun mind if ppl blame me or anything...
after all this thing i realise sumthing
and i finally got my answer!everything was a lie
i was just dreaming all along!i was a fool
nothing of this is real.iits not reality!
haiz..after thinking of much oso no use
cause u will nv return to be anymore...
tok to sum ppl ytd!they ask me move on
all say not worth waiting for you anymore
i reali dunnoe if i wanna move on!
i'm stubborn!maybe i will wait.i'll wait
no matter how long it takes,i'll wait!
am i foolish?maybe i am bahx..
haiz..shall blog more at night!

*_[i didn't mean it when i say i dun love you
i should held on tight and nv let go of you
but i did nothing.i was stupid and foolish
i was lying to myself]_*

3:31 PM

todae nv even go out at all!was at home
think alot of things.i just broke down..
watch this show and realise sumthing.
if you love tat person,u should let her go
cause its no use holding on anymore.
in the end,getting hurt is yourself!...
this show make me realise alot of thing.
i'm damm confuse right now!
should i wait or i should just move on?
i just think that i cannot move on
cause my mind is still thinking abt her
and i still love her!i cannot forget her
because of tat matter,i break with her
i'm feeling stupid now!i shouldn't have bother
i should open and close 1 eyes...
i shouldn't break with her...i reali regret!haiz.
forget it!i dun wanna say it anymore
todae andrew msg me!i was happy.
he apologise to me lahx..i was surprised
anyway we both now ok liao!hehex....
i just wanna thank alex for everything
thanks for toking to andrew ar!<3<3
haiz.i just realise this month i lose alot of ppl
first i lost my daddy,kor den after you..
do i reali deserve all this?am i in the wrong
was i the 1 tat make u all disown me.
well i dunnoe!i'm so lost right now.
i reali hate myself!i reali do..
everyone is asking me to smile and not sad
but its just so hard for me to smile
i just couldn't smile!cause i'm not happy
muz i reali give you up?muz i reali forget you?
do i have another choice?i wonder.

`[all along everything was just a dream
you have never ever love me before
i was left there bleeding alone]`

12:59 PM

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Ytd and todae have been staying at home
damm sianz lahx.but no choice.haiz...
who ask me go re bond until like ghost!hahax
well anyway going to visit my nanny lahx
cause she operate on her leg.haiz...
i just simply hate this year alright.
so many things happen!make me so sad.
ytd cry again!i was like so damm sad lahx.
tears just keep coming down and it won't stop
no matter how hard i try to forget you,
i just couldn't!you're still in my mind.
and you're still in my heart!haiz....
i reali hope i can forget you soon and move on
you told me to go with her*i was disappointed
cause you have nv consider my feeling!
you know i dun love her right..but why?
why must you push me to her?i'm sad
i know you have move on without me..
but i'll still wait!i will always wait for you..
i know this may be a dream but i dun mind
as long as i still love you,i'll wait for you.
last time i make a wrong decision by leaving you
i thought i could live my life without you.
but i was wrong!i was reali wrong.
without you in my life,i was lonely and cold
i reali hope i can have you back...
i reali do love you!i regret all i have done.
i was so lost without you.i didn't know what 2 do
i hate myself!i hate myself for letting you go.
i hate myself for pretending i dun love you
i hate myself for walking out of your life..
i reali hate myself!i feel like breaking down
but now everything is too late!
you have move on without me already..
i'm not as strong as what you think i am
i'm terribly hurt by you!do you know.
you have broke my heart into pieces
but my heart stil have you in it..
i dun mind u break my heart into pieces
just to have you back by my side.
but i know everything i say is a dream
cause everything is over!you stop loving me
i'm not happy!i'm not okay!i'm sad..
no 1 can understand my feeling!!
you will never know how much i love you.
no one can understand how i feel right now
i just hope i can fade away from this earth
i'm tired of living!i'm reali tired....
izzit time i leave everything behind and leave
i reali dunnoe!i'm tired of crying.
every night i cry for the same reason..
but did you come back?instead,
you have left me further away.i'm hurt

*_[I aint tired of waiting.
but i'm just tired of sheddin my tears for u
and noe tat u dun care at all]_*

5:38 PM

Sunday, December 04, 2005

I would give up ev'rything
Before I'd separate myself from you
After so much suffering
I fin'ly found unvarnished truth
I was all by myself for the longest time
So cold inside
And the hurt from the heartache would not subside
I felt like dyingUntil you saved my life

Thank God I found you
I was lost without you
My ev'ry wish and ev'ry dream
Somehow became reality
When you brought the sunlight
Completed my whole life
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
'Cause, baby, I'm so thankful I found you

I will give you ev'rything
There's nothing in this world
I wouldn't do
To ensure your happiness
I cherish ev'ry part of you
'Cause, without you beside me, I can't surive
Don't want to try
I'f you're keeping me warm each and ev'ry night
I'll be all right
'Cause I need you in my life

hmm..todae went cousin house to slack.
was like damm fucking sianz!well..
after came home and tok online..
this person was right about me can!
he sms me and say this to me
'why change urself becoz of others?'
'you should be the real you'
indeed i change alot for you.
and i find it stupid right now..
if you love me,you love me for who i am
and not any other thing...haiz..
so after much thinking,i got the answer
and that is you nv love me at all
you were just playing me all this while
i was foolish!reali damm foolish..
i thought you wouuld love me
but end up,the person i love the most
is actually the person who hurt me.
haix..well i'm disappointed right now
reali damm disappointed in you.
i dunnoe what i can still say..
i' speechless!reali i am!
can i hate you??or do i hate you
i reali dunnoe!i'm just breaking down
even my best frenz have left me alone
i'm left with nothing now.i'm alone
even my parents give up on me
and everything i done i regret..
i shouldn't have change becoz of you
and now everyone seem to hate me
maybe everyone dislike me now..
i reali dunnoe!i just feel stupid
ppl just saying rumours abt me
haiz.was i wrong in making frenz??
was i wrong to go out with my frenz??
was i wrong to have a best frenz?
can i still trust anyone now?
i reali dunnoe!i'm sad right now
disappointed in you!

11:54 PM

hmm.todae bertram and shirley find me
after went chinatown to eat first.
after went town to re bond my hair..
i sit there for like alot of hours lahx...
my ass was like damm fucking pain
hmm..hui ting and ting ting came too..
so while i was re bonding,they went around
after not long they come back again
hmm..den janet cal and ask go chiong
so hui ting,ting and shirley left me..
bertram left early cause he got couselling..
i was like so lonely can!sobsob*
well baby xing wanted to find me...hahax
but somehow she cannot find me
well i'm sorry baby xing!i finish at 9
den after went cine to find baby xing..
hehex..accompany her till like 11 plus!
she say i look like ghost!ok i admit lahx..
hahax..after went to great world!
hmm...went there a while den go liao!
meet shirley only..haiz.so little ppl
hui ting and ting went watch movie..
they ask me go lahx!i reject of course
if i go,i will be like the lightbulb.hahax
hmm..todae u nv sms me at all..
i dunnoe why i am waiting for ur msg
i just dun feel nice right now...i'm sad
well dun wanna say anymore

1:57 AM

Friday, December 02, 2005

todae staying at home lahx..sianz can
friday is like suppose to go out late de
but who knows ah gong birthday todae
going to celebrate with him later lor..
so no choice but to stay at home.haiz..
just finish toking to andrew.he is an ass
ask me go greatworld again lahx...
i told him my ah gong birthday todae
he go say his handphone birthday too..
he thought i was lying lahx..idiot fellow.
well nvm!shirley cheer me up too.thanks
hmm....i'm still sad right now.
but i know i got to cheer up.
i respect your decision for chosing her
cause she is far better den me!i dun deny
i admit defeat!i lost to her badly..
its right you chose her and not me..
i will slowly forget you and move on
wo heng xiang wen ni yi jiu hua
ni dao di you mei you ai guo wo?
nan dao zhe yi qie tou shi pian wo de
ni gen ben mei you ai wo guo..
wo zhen de shou shang le!
ni you wen guo ni zhi ji ma
ni dao di you mei you ai guo wo??
i dunnoe whats your answer
i hope you did love me before
i just dun have the courage to ask you
because i'm afraid its a no
maybe i am coward to everyone now
but seriously i'm reali scare to know
cause i dun wanna face reality if its a no
i feel like crying right now..i'm hurt
but tears dun come down anymore
cause its dry right now!i have cry 2 much
i know forgetting you its going to b hard
but i'm going to try my best to forget
because i dun wanna be sad and hurt
i wanna be the happy sherlyn again
where my world is so colourful and nice
now i'm like in darkness alone
feeling so afraid and helpless!!
no one is there to help me!haiz..
well i am just going to forget you
To steph:
nu er ar!i know you very angry now..
pls dun hate anyone alright!pls lahx
everyone got their own choice
so pls fogrive and forget okay!
i reali dun wanna make this thing big
i hate her before!but after thinking,
i decided to stop all hating!
cause everyone got a choice...
so pls forgive and forget alright..
mummy loves nu er lots!

4:54 PM

Thursday, December 01, 2005

dun think i'm going out todae!
was kind of feeling moody now.
becoz of that matter?maybe bahx
well me myself oso dunnoe.
i just dun feel good right now..
i wanna scream i wanna breakdown
i hope i can turn back the time.
i dun regret knowing them..
but i just feel bad i make trouble.
this matter was mainly cause by me
i feel bad and guilty right now.
is it best i leave them once and for all.
nv to appear infront of them anymore.
i dunnoe.i reali dunnoe!i am confuse.
i dunnoe who i wanna chose to be with
both side i oso treasure alot.but....haiz
i reali dunnoe lahx.i l already lose you
i can't afford to lose anyone now...
maybe i shouldn't even appear at all..
i should just vanish into thin air.
and i'll be free forever.isn't it better..
well no one can understand how i feel now
i'm feeling sad,bad,guilty,disappinted,confuse
i'm feeling everything now.i hate it
and while others are so happy.i'm so envy
maybe i shouldn't fall for you at first
you hurt me so much!it hurts like hell.
you broke my heart into a million pieces
and you still tell me you still love me....
all this is a lie!you have been lying to me.
your heart not with me anymore..
it has already gone to someone else heart.
i hate you for cheating me.i reali hate you
you make me feel so miserable now.....
if you are happy to see me miserable,
well you have done it.i'm feeling damm bad now
i dun feel good and becoz of your lying.i feel bad
maybe you are happy to see me like this...
well if you think i hurt you den i'm sorry
you dun have to treat me like this....
this suffering that i am recieving from you
is far too much for me to take it anymore
i just wanna breakdown and fade away.

i'm damm disappointed in you
this time you reali hurt me........
i was left there bleeding alone

1:41 PM

i'm damm sad and disappointed in you.
you hurt me again!this time was worse
and again i tears for you..i feel like a fool
so all along you have been cheating me.
what have i done to deserve this???
i reali dunnoe why i still love you
after you have hurt me so much...
i reali wonder why i still love you so much?
can anyone pls give me a answer.
thanks xbb for listening to me...
you reali make me feel alot better..
thanks alot!!i feel better now..
thanks shirley too!you oso make me feel better
lucky i still got my good frenz around.
to help me get over this matter.thanks.<3
well it doesn't matter if u dun love me
as long as my frenz still love me i'm happy
cause they treat me better den u treat me
xbb is right!you dun treat me as stead..
well nvm its okay!i will accept the fact.
i will learn to forget you and everything
and start afresh again!so goodbye to you
i will not let those ppl that care for me down
i will prove to them i will forget you
and move on with my life.i know i can.
i wanna thank you for hurting me..
you make me learn something from it.
thanks to xbb and shirley and andrew and etc.
you ppl reali rawks my world alright..
with you all around,i already feel happy liao.
so thanks alot ar..take care ppl.
going to blog more tomolo!ya.

3:40 AM